English Banter

Now what is banter? It’s light-hearted, playful conversation where people tease each other in a friendly way. It’s a bit sarcastic, a little cheeky, and definitely fun. When my elder son went to study music in England, I was reminded how much I miss English banter. Living in Germany, I’d grown used to (and also like) a more direct, straightforward style of conversation, which is great for clarity but often lacks the playful, witty exchanges I enjoyed when speaking English. But banter has made a surprising return in my life—thanks to my younger son’s relatively new girlfriend, Raz, who’s from England.

When my son finally introduced Raz to me  (after three months of calling her Somewhere when I probably over curiously asked where he had been 😊), I noticed her quick, humorous responses right away. They recently celebrated their first anniversary and when I asked if they had first met at a nice café, she replied, “Nah. Your son was too cheap. He just asked me if I wanted a walk.”

What I love about banter is that it’s a way of showing affection and building a connection through humor. Sometimes it gets to be too much when I would prefer “You look really nice” to “Is this a special occasion, or did you just run out of your usual clothes?” or “ I really love your soups” to “Oh, you made soup again? You’re really pushing the bounds of creativity in the kitchen.” I guess I have lived in Germany for too long (although I have some German friends who banter well too!).

For English learners, understanding and using banter can be a challenge, especially as it can be taken the wrong way, but it’s also a great way to improve your language skills and build rapport with native speakers. Watch shows like Friends, The Office or After Life to see how English speakers use banter in everyday situations.